Several times a week I tell myself, "you really should blog again". Yet, I never make the time to do it. Could it be that it's too much focus on me? Too much to ask myself to sit down and actually contemplate my life and myself? The last six months have been heavy months of change, of budding friendships, of expanding my trust, of standing up for myself, of relationship learning, of puppy parenthood, of just so much, I mean, how can I really sit down and think about all of it. AND, how much of it do you really share on a blog?
The answer - however much I fucking want to.So here I am at 10AM on a lunch break tackling something that I've been wanting to do since last fall. Blog. I could just blog about the stuff I've been doing, but that's an easy catch up if your on any social network (Instagram, Flickr, Facebook). Most of you who actually read this know I'm spending a lot of time with friends, with my new baby girl, with my boo, working, etc. Why be redundant.
What's really been heavy on my mind the last couple of months is the learning curve I'm on when it comes to people, mental health and making changes. I feel like I've grown so much in 2013, and yet feel like I have so far to go.I received an email a couple of days ago that has reminded me of who I've become, in the best way. I've done much to reduce the drama that surrounds me, and I see how people just cannot handle it. I see how malicious people will spread vicious lies to make some of the most caring, multiple-chance-giving, bend-over-sacrifice-everything people look bad just to make themselves feel better. It's a terrible thing but I know that all I can do is protect myself and be there to listen when others need to talk.
This is not a blog about an issue I have with a certain few. That anger has subsided and I need to LET IT GO. This is about the good. Seeing that you can be there for others while still maintaining boundries. To those friends in my life, I'm truly grateful to have this opportunity to know you and learn from you. Ooooo, I see the opportunity for a list....
List of learnings:
- Understand where the other is coming from. Even if you disagree with them, it's good to try to understand their thought process. Most people don't wake up in the morning and say, ok, who am I going to destroy today.
- Have patience. This one, is going to forever be a struggle. But sometimes you need to be patient before reacting. Sometimes people and situations will work out on their own.
- Take a moment. Another challenge. Sometimes it's good to take it all in and see how it feels - in your body, in your heart, in your mind. What does this moment mean?
- Give people a chance. Even if they don't deserve it. But don't let them destroy your soul.
- Don't talk shit. I mean let's be real, we're all going to talk shit sometimes. Most of the time, though, discuss the situation and don't attack character, not everyone is perfect.
- Splurge a little, but keep yo shit together. It's good to go all out, but it's good to remember your place and your limitations.
- It's ok to say no. This was an interesting one for me this weekend. I was so fully honest about NOT wanting to do something and it was SO hard to say so, but I did, and I'm so glad that I did. I found out that you can say no to people and if they care about you, it's OK.
- Get inspired. Get Excited. Be loved. Nuff Said.
To quote my close friend, "it's great to be a finger".