Yea, how many blogs have I visited with the same blog title? LOL. I have been kind of a bad blogger. Finding a moment to sit down and just jot out some thoughts seems to be more challenging than it used to be. I can't quite figure out where all my time is going, but it seems to be successfully escaping me. I feel like since I went to bartending school in August, everything has been up and scattered. A bunch of puzzle pieces flung into the air, landing randomly on the ground, waiting to be put back together. Those puzzle pieces would be my life. I just don't have the box cover to refer to, to see what the big picture is...
I'm still looking for a job, although I'm not sure what I want it to be. Last week I finally started going from restaurant to restaurant in hopes that SOMEONE is looking for bartenders. I went to five restaurants last week, and another one today. I'll be visiting more this week. I do know that I really want the opportunity to work behind the bar, because I have a gut instinct that it's going to be the kind of work I really enjoy. However, it's no life-time career.
I had two interviews with Electronic Arts over the past two weeks, which ended up not being the fit for me. I was incredibly disappointed, but am trying to see it as a sign of things not meant to be. I've been pretty firm about not wanting to go back to an office job, and maybe this is just a nudge reinforcing that. I just don't know right now.
It feels to me that if I can find a job, that other things will start to fall into place as well. Waking up in the morning without a schedule or routine really is making me so lost, and having a place to be on specific days seems like it will make me sane. I guess I'll know when it happens. It's just hard for me right now, trying to figure it all out.
On top of that I'm still missing my brother, but knowing that the authorities are checking on the house he's living makes me more at ease that he's getting the care that he needs. Hopefully he knows I'm there for him, and will let me know if he needs me. Even though we haven't talked in some time, I think about him all the time, and he is truly the most important person in my life. Love that kid.
In the mean time I'm hanging out with friends, the friends that are accessable anyway. I've felt new friendships bloom, while other friendships seem to be falling through the cracks. I feel like the more I'm social, the more I miss my quiet days at home, spent cuddling with my fuzzy kids and watching reruns and DVR'd favorites. But there's no denying I've been having fun. I've been to a niner's game (make that two after Sunday!), three Giant's games, seen a ton of movies, tried new restaurants, spent fun times at Karaoke nights, tried new foods (bacon is good! hot dogs are good!), hung out with new people, and just finding out new things about myself.
So yes, I'm still here, still kickin it, still finding myself, finding my "balance", looking for a job.....looking for my purpose. Tomorrow is going to be a chores/scrapping day for me, with the exception of a dr's appt and an open interview in the evening. Wednesday will be a night of developing black and white prints...Thursday will be more job searching. Hopefully soon I'll have some crafty stuff to post....
I was wondering how you were doing! Did you give up on the pet sitting? Good luck finding something that makes you happy, and don't be such a stranger! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that EA didn't work out, but like you said, its probably because you would be better off somewhere else. I hope that you start feeling your groove soon. We're definitely going to class this coming Wednesday and you can't get out of it!
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